Is it socially acceptable to nap in the shower

justbeencumberbatched:

lesbian-songbirds:

If 1 in 10 teens are gay, then statistically, there are two gays in each of my classes… I’m one, so where’s the other one? Come out come out wherever you are ya little shit

im not sure if that last line is a pun or not

vinebox:

when you say go deeper and he tell you he all the way in

image

broughttoyoubytheletterq:

theleeryone:

broughttoyoubytheletterq:

what do you call a dictionary on drugs

If you say addictionary I swear to fucking god I will cut you

I was gonna say ‘high definition’ but yours is better

  • interviewer: this wasn't listed as a required qualification, but you mentioned in your resume several times that you are excellent at memorization?
  • me: *giggles* oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed. well, since you asked for a demonstration, *recites 35 consecutive Nicki Minaj verses for the next 20 minutes*
  • fakingitforlife:

RITA VOLK LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

    doncasturbate:

    Beyonce is my daddy

    clituorice:

    when i see a cute boy on the street

    image

    zustin:

    god bless common for addressing ferguson

    tarynel:

    karkats-vantasies:

    gildings:

    I love boys who have massive, throbbing vocabularies. 

    I love girls who have clean, tight grammar

    I like big dicks.